Is Five Guys Worth the Fuss?

I first heard of Five Guys Burgers & Fries probably around a year-and-a-half ago. It would take me a good year to actually make it to one of the Virginia-based chain’s West Coast venues. Despite glowing endorsements from friends and a surprising amount of love from online reviewers, the idea of another fast food joint just didn’t really compel me. 

As it turned out, I had underestimated Five Guys Burgers & Fries. I would learn this while visiting a Portland friend, a savvy Mom who knows how to expertly wrangle a whole mess o’ kiddos. With our group of five youngsters aged 10 and under, we descended upon the Johnson Creek Five Guys for dinner. Orders placed at the counter, our brood settled around a table and quickly became mesmerized by the most magical of treats: peanuts in the shell.

One of Five Guys’ trademarks is large bins of complimentary peanuts available for patrons to scoop up and take back to the table for some serious shelling and snacking. Our band of kids was nutty for nuts, industrious cracking and chewing yielding an impressive degree of serenity. Though we didn’t wait long for our food, those nuts made the time pass at light speed. Genius.

My next trip to Five Guys would be one much closer to Edmonds. Outposts of the restaurant are currently open in Lynnwood and Seattle/Northgate, with a Bothell location said to be forthcoming. I opted for the Northgate site, tucked into the new Thornton Place plaza right next door to the complex’s Regal Cinema.

The décor at Five Guys Northgate is red, white, and self-promotion. The tiled walls are dotted with blow-ups of Five Guys’ noteworthy newspaper clippings—they are worshiped around the country and they want you to know it. The bravado was as accentuated by “Keep on Rockin’ in the Free World” and AC/DC’s “Back in Black” playing—albeit softly—overhead.

In fairness, though, my Five Guys hamburger was pretty darn good. The patties were hand-shaped, juicy but not greasy. The hamburger ($4.79, cheeseburger $5.59, bacon burger $5.59) involved two patties, but was still surprisingly manageable without being mercilessly compressed. A highlight of the ordering experience was tailoring my sandwich with any combination of Five Guys’ 15 complimentary toppings ranging from standard condiments and veggies to ingredients like grilled onions and mushrooms, jalapeno peppers, and A-1 Sauce. As many as I wanted, for no extra charge.

Though Five Guys is primarily known for burgers, not at all shabby was my Kosher style hot dog ($3.19), the dog split lengthwise for maximum surface area, which translated to maximum grilled goodness. Toppings are also free for the hot dogs, which can also come dressed with cheese and/or bacon for an extra charge.

Less of a thrill for me were Five Guys’ fries ($2.99/$4.29), which just weren’t really my style of spud. I prefer a slender, skinless crisp fry and Five Guys turns out tater sticks that are thicker, bendier, and show more skin than I personally like. It’s all in the fry of the beholder, I suppose. I was decidedly not wild about Five Guys’ Cajun fries, barely salted and overpowered with a monotonous blanket of red pepper. Better flavor is achieved with the regular fries, dressed with ketchup or the malt vinegar Five Guys provides.

Five Guys Burgers & Fries is so focused on its singular mission—burgers and fries—it’s a wonder they even offer hot dogs. There is no chicken here. No salads. No desserts. Though there are fountain drinks and bottled water, Five Guys doesn’t even mess around with milkshakes. Vegetarians are relegated to sandwiches made of cheese and/or the vegetables among the restaurant’s burger toppings as Five Guys doesn’t offer a beef-free patty. Regardless of dine-in or “to go” status, all orders are put into non-descript brown paper bags, receipt taped to the front. Fries are housed in plain paper beverage cups.

The chain's simplicity seems to be working, with Five Guys now boasting more than 750 locations in the U.S. and Canada. The company website crows that its restaurants don’t have any freezers as no ingredients are kept frozen. Freshness and focus appear to be the keys to Five Guys’ success, as what they do, they do quite well.