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Community Corner

How to Throw a Kid Party

Avoid these common pitfalls to be sure your party goes off without a hitch.

I admit, I am an expert at Birthday Parties. I throw at least 2 a week and when my kiddo turned 4 last year, he had four parties. Yes, four different birthday parties. We had the Party, the Dizzy’s Tumblebus Party, the house party and the Family Fun Center party. Multiple spreadsheets were involved to be sure the right people were on the right list for the right party. It was mayhem and totally awesome at the same time. This year, we have the added a dozen preschool friends so it is indeed possible that we will be 5 for 5. I love throwing parties and I wanted to share my top tidbits of wisdom so you can avoid some real social clunkers with your own shindigs.

The Cake – Please don’t waste your money on those fancy-pants gourmet cupcakes. We recently did a head-to-head challenge with 3 varieties and they lost hands down to a boxed “pudding in the mix” variety with cream cheese sweetened frosting with a little powdered sugar on the top. The best store-bought cake is with Hoffmans and Borrochinis rounding out the gourmet list. Everyone, and I mean I’ve never met anyone who hasn’t, loved the Costco cake. I recommend the chocolate cake, cheese cake filling with white frosting. Tastes like a Hostess Cupcake and doesn’t break the bank.

The House Party – If you are having a party at your home, do set ground rules for your guests. Are kids allowed in the bedrooms? Can they jump on the bed? Can they strip the bed and make a fort? Can they strip YOUR bed and make an even bigger fort? Setting expectations and limits can save you headaches…and prevent you from little ones going into areas of your home that are off limits. I highly suggest that you put away valuable possessions and your kid’s favorite toys to avoid any scuffles.

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Want gifts? – This has got to be the most confusing thing about the modern invitation. On one hand, one would assume that you would bring a gift if you were invited to the party. Gifts are supposed to be given out of generosity and not as an entrance fee, but considering most parties cost about $15-$20 per kid, it is expected that you’d bring a gift to “even things out.” I’ve gotten many invitations that request “No gifts please” and frankly, it confuses me. It should be clear that you’d not come with a gift, but I confess I ALWAYS have a spare gift in the back seat just in case everyone else shows up with a gift…and in most cases, they do. The guests are inevitably going to say, “Oh, I couldn’t resist bringing this” or “I know you said No Gifts but…” while I secretly retrieve the spare gift from the car. What’s the solution? I love a book exchange. Tell your guests to bring a new or slightly used book wrapped all nice and pretty and the kids can each pick one at the end of the party (and this can serve as your gift bag, too). Or, if you are having the house party, have your guests bring their favorite appetizer to share in lieu of a gift.

Doing gift bags? – I dislike gift bags. Parents always forget them and they tend to be filled with junk. I also hate piñatas…when is it ever a good idea to supply a giant stick to a toddler and encourage them to whack away at a refined-sugar filled representation of their favorite character? Then the inevitable scramble of kids grabbing for the goods, the hurt feelings of not getting their fair share and the late-night pilfering of the confections by yours truly.  

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Want siblings? – If you take one bit of advice from this rambling, let it be this: Be Clear on Siblings! Really. A lot of folks are of the impression that you are inviting their whole family and will often show up with both parents and 2 siblings. If each of your 12 guests brings their brood, well, you are going to run out of cake even if you got it from Costco. There really isn’t a way to say “no siblings” without sounding a bit rude and some parents just can’t get the hint that an invite addressed to only the child doesn’t include older and younger siblings. So, be prepared when the RSVPs come back with a request to bring siblings and decide in advance if you are OK with that.

Want drop-offs? – Starting around age 4, the drop-offs begin. A lot of these kiddos are younger siblings and are perfectly comfortable being dropped off and are great house-guests…but if you were anticipating the parents sticking around, you will feel compelled to manage the kids and not the party events. You may want to mention this on the party invite.

Want to alienate parents in the pick-up line? – Well, then invite only half the kids in the class. Seriously, I go to great lengths to be sure everyone is invited and I always goof up and leave at least one cherished friend off the list…which often occurs to me at about 2am the morning of the party and I scramble to update the evite. If you are being selective, don’t dare talk about that party with other parents. It’s bad enough the kids are going to be discussing it, you don’t need to go there.

Want people to come? – Then do NOT use Facebook events. If you haven’t noticed, Facebook events are overcrowded with pretty meaningless “events” and you risk your event being dismissed as fodder. Send an evite, send a paper invitation (including an email address to respond to as most people really don’t want to call you on the phone) and don’t be afraid to follow up with people who don’t RSVP. Chances are they are just going to show up anyway.

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