Dealing With a Bully

I recently found myself in a situation where a child was teasing and hitting my daughter on the school bus. My daughter is only in first grade and was afraid to tell anyone because the bully threatened her. Thankfully, my daugher confided in me.

And so the swarm of Mama anger began. As she told me what had been happening, I could feel my face flush, my blood pressure rising, and it took all the strength I had to NOT go over to the kid’s house and raise a ruckus. Mama Bear had emerged. I consider myself a reasonable and friendly person. These feelings of anger really don’t fit my personality. I had to rationally think about what was the best course of action to address this problem. But how to tame a Mama Bear?

I immediately emailed Rob Baumgartner, the principal of Westgate Elementary. There are many reasons I chose Westgate and the Edmonds School District for my children, one of which is the strong parent-staff support. Westgate has fantastic leadership by Mr. Baumgartner, and the staff genuinely works with parents to meet the needs of the students.  I have found Westgate to have great parent involvement and this teamwork approach makes Westgate an excellent elementary school.

I sent Mr. Baumgartner the email after school hours, and it was excruciating for me to have to wait until the next day to hear back. I received a response from Mr. Baumgartner at 7 the next morning. He spoke to the student by 10 a.m. and talked to the child’s parents by that afternoon. The issue was resolved by the time my daughter had to ride the bus home that day. My child’s teacher was responsive as well and took extra time and attention to monitor the situation at school.

So I had to tame the Mama Bear in me. My Mama Bear side is important and I will stand up and protect my children. I’m happy I went through the school to address this bullying situation and didn’t take it into my own hands.

What I have learned from this experience is:
1. If the Mama or Papa Bear comes out, it’s normal, it’s a natural instinct to protect our children.
2. Go directly to the principal. Dealing with bullying is his or her job.
3. Going through the proper channels is important and our school district has policies in place to address bullying.
4. Taking a bullying situation into my own hands could have been dangerous.

Michelle Massey is an Edmonds mom and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with specialized training in Art Therapy.